Family Feuds in India: Is Ego to Blame? Voices from Visakhapatnam

Family disputes are nothing new in India, but they continue to cause deep rifts. From property fights to disagreements over marriage or business, families are often split apart. In Visakhapatnam, many believe ego is the main reason these quarrels drag on.

“Whenever I hear of families breaking over land or inheritance, I feel it’s less about the property and more about who gets to decide,” says S. Ramesh, a retired bank officer from Seethammadhara. “In our society, people want to prove their authority instead of finding middle ground.”

The numbers support his view. According to the National Judicial Data Grid, a large share of civil cases in Indian courts are related to family property disputes. Many last for years, leaving relationships beyond repair.

Advocate Lakshmi Prasad, who practices in the Visakhapatnam District Court, says ego often blocks settlements. “Families bring cases that could be solved in weeks. But one brother refuses to bend, or a parent feels insulted by a child. Courts can divide assets, but they cannot heal wounded pride.”

Younger residents see it too. Harika, an IT professional from Madhurawada, recalls a bitter fight with her cousin over their grandmother’s property. “It wasn’t really about the land,” she admits. “Both of us just didn’t want to be seen as weaker. We stopped talking for a year before finally apologizing.”

Experts point to the gap between generations as another factor. Parents often feel disrespected when children question traditions. Children, in turn, feel controlled. “In most cases I’ve studied in coastal Andhra, the actual issue is secondary,” says Prof. R. Suryanarayana of Andhra University. “It’s ego—who is right, who is respected—that drives the conflict more than money itself.”

The business community in Visakhapatnam has also seen the damage. K. Srinivas, once a partner in a wholesale trade with his brother, remembers how their venture collapsed. “We argued over expansion. Neither of us wanted to admit the other was right. Today we run smaller businesses separately. Ego cost us growth.”

The effects go far beyond individuals. Children grow up watching fights at home. Properties stay stuck in court cases. Family gatherings shrink as relatives stop meeting.

Still, some believe disputes can be resolved if families agree to talk. Elders and professional mediators are increasingly helping. “If people are willing to sit down and listen, most arguments fade,” says counselor Jyothi Rao, who works with families in Visakhapatnam. “But ego often stops them from even starting that conversation.”

Family life is meant to provide love and support. Yet when pride becomes stronger than affection, those bonds weaken. As Srinivas reflects, “If only we had said, ‘Let’s value our family more than our egos,’ we would still be together today.”